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Old 10-14-2012, 06:19 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,866

Originally Posted by 1111 View Post
I have no idea what I want.

Well, then - THIS is the main problem. If you don't know what you want then how can anyone else hope to satisfy you?

Get thee to a counselor!

I'm a big fan of being open to what evolves but if you don't even know what kind of situations you could be open to? Or, more importantly, NOT open to - then how can you communicate effectively with a potential (even non-exclusive) prospect?

Some questions to ask yourself (and investigate with your therapist!):

Could you see yourself...
dating multiple people simultaneously?
that know about each other?
dating one person exclusively?
living with one person while having NSA sex on the side?
living with a partner?
having a dog?
having children?
letting someone else spend your money?


PS. "Clubbing" is not something that interests me, or is available in our area - I don't really know anything about it. So I will relate it to something that bothers some women that has never been an issue for me - going to strip-clubs. I don't care if the boys go to strip clubs. Perhaps this is because the boys don't have a "thing" about going to strips clubs - they will go if invited or if the subject comes up but it is not a regular drain on our finances/time together so it doesn't affect me one way or another. If they do decide to go to a strip club while they are out - I don't have to know about it ahead of time, they can tell me, or not, when they get back. Now, if they (or one of them) were spending hundreds of dollars or exorbitant amounts of time at strip clubs - then this could turn into a problem. 5 nights a week, $100/ night? (70% of "free time" + $2K/ mos) THAT would be an issue - as it would be with ANY hobby that took them away for extended periods of time or cost a significant amount of money. So was the problem the "clubbing" or the time/money?
JaneQ(Me): poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (25+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (7+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW, friends with MrS
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 10-14-2012 at 06:31 AM.
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