I can't understand the specific pain of your situation, but I can understand the dynamic. It's frustrating as hell to be open and clear about your wants and needs, only to be told you're being 'dramatic'. When you keep talking and aren't being heard - or worse, are being completely blown off - it's natural to be hurt and angry. Having been through similar, all I can offer is that it gets better. That's not meant to be trite - it really and truly does.
Either j will realize she misses you and will resume contact, or you will eventually heal and allow yourself to grow from the experience. No one - and I mean no one - can 'make' or 'force' a partner to listen attentively and caringly to your concerns and be willing to make behavioral changes. Either j is willing to change her behavior out of love and concern for you, or she isn't. Some people feel asking a partner for behavioral changes is a form of control. I do not. We all have things we need from relationships, and asking a partner to meet those needs takes a great deal of courage. Regardless of the outcome, you asked. That takes strength. You will find a partner worthy of that strength eventually - be it j or someone else.