Originally Posted by AggieSez
. . . I am talking about being able to discern how out someone who you are in a relationship with (or are becoming intimately involved with) really is. Especially if that person already has a primary partner. Because IME that's often not really obvious. People often don't think clearly and honestly, or communicate clearly or honestly, about how out they are or are willing to be.
I find this a very strange statement. I mean, if I (solo) were considering getting into a relationship with a married guy, this is all definitely part of what we would discuss. And if what he said wasn't clear, I would keep asking questions and pose scenarios until it was
clear. I really don't see how cloudy it could be -- certainly a married person would know how to answer, if asked, whether or not he could engage in public displays of affection with a non-spouse around his family or co-workers, for example.