For National Coming Out Day, I decided that I wanted to post on facebook about being poly. All of my friends and close family know, but I'm "friends" with a number of acquaintances, co-workers, and extended family members who don't. I'd thought about doing it in previous years, but had never quite had the guts until now. I checked with Gia and Davis first, to make sure it was ok with them. Even though I didn't plan to name them explicitly, people might well guess with Gia. As for Davis, his dad is my facebook friend, and his parents certainly hadn't known previously that I was dating anyone other than their son. They both said to go for it. I was especially impressed by Davis's agreement. He said that while he had mixed feelings about being out, it was important to him to stand by the choices we'd made together, and that if we needed to have a conversation with his parents, we would.
I got a bunch of "likes" (including one from my dad!) and a number of positive comments from friends. I'm glad to have done it, and I'm excited about just maybe helping to build a future in which closets are just for clothes.
Everything else is about the same. Missing Gia, looking forward to seeing Bee, trying not to focus on Eric, working on things with Davis, y'all know how it goes with me.
One new mini-development, I suppose -- at a party that Gia helped to organize a year and a half ago, I was responsible for setting up a little kink exploration corner, which went over pretty well. As part of that night, I did wax play on a friend of a friend, a cute little wisp of a young man named Trevor. It was the first time he'd ever tried anything like that and he was surprised by how much he liked it. He had another friend flog him with a metal cat o' nine tales (ow ow ow) later that same night.
I ran into Trevor and a few other friends at a bar a couple of nights ago. After a couple of rounds, he mentioned to me that he was very, very interested in trying more things related to receiving pain and subbing. The rush that I felt, the strong predatory reaction, really surprised me! I wanted *very* much to help him explore his interests, to get him down on his knees, to see what he could take, watch him shiver. BUT, of course, that's not exactly an option right now. :/
I asked Davis weeks ago how he'd feel if I slept with Eric without Gia there. He said he wasn't sure, and that he wanted time to think about it. It confuses the hell out of me. How on earth is it ok to be with him in the context of a threeway, but not ok without the magical talisman of Gia's presence?? But, hey, it's not like we'd have much if any opportunity to do it, anyway, and as much as I like Eric and would like to get into bed with him more often, it's not a priority for me. So, I told Davis to take as much time as he needed and to get back to me. Considering that he still hasn't made a decision, I highly doubt that playing with Trevor, even in non-sexual ways, is remotely going to be on the table at this point.
Ah, well. I gave Trevor the name of a great, respectful dom who could help him out.
One other thing, actually, it came up in a casual chat online the other day that Eric isn't sleeping with Liza any more (background: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showp...&postcount=505
). I asked him why not, he said that Gia hadn't been comfortable with it and had asked if he would stop. He had thought it a little bit of a shame but wasn't terribly bothered, and stopped right away. At the time that I wrote the post linked in the parentheses above, I'd gotten very heated when talking to Gia about it, expressing in no uncertain terms that I thought he was making a mistake. I have to wonder, did she ask him to stop because I convinced her, or was it actually in a sense for my sake, or did it have nothing to do with me? I don't think I'll ask. I also learned, in the course of talking to Eric, that he, himself, had never had direct cause to believe that Liza was the crazy, sketchy, drama-queen that another friend of Gia's had convinced Gia that she was. That gave me pause yet again -- had I been too quick to condemn her myself? -- and also made me feel better about his judgment, which I had questioned at the time.