Originally Posted by alina
about a month and a half ago when i went to visit told me he was poly... The point is he recently came to visit and told me he had been with two girls. He told them all about me and how I'm the one for him and the one he will marry.
To be clear...he was 'with' two girls (and presumably we don't mean for a beer and a game of darts) and told you after
the fact? Were you supposed to be impressed that he was more honest with them than he was with you?
The question of whether you know, after only 10 months, that you're so into him that you're willing to spend the next 50 years living a very unconventional lifestyle that you never expected, just to be with him, is one question.
At least equally important: he's just tested you out to see what happens if he says, "Oh, hey, baby, by the way, I screwed two other girls, but see it's 'cause I'm poly." What happens when this continues--"Oh, hey, baby, I just ran up 30K in debt, but see it's because...." or "Oh, hey, baby, I know you have three sick kids under the age of 3, but I bought myself a plane ticket to Hawaii, but see it's because...."
Sorry, but if the heart of poly is honesty, I don't think he's been very honest with you. Honesty and integrity would have been discussing it BEFORE ANYTHING HAPPENED. Doing it without telling you is called cheating, and I have a huge problem that he was more honest with THEM than he was with YOU, supposedly his beloved girlfriend.