I'm amused by the word "really" in the title of this thread. What is that supposed to mean? the opposite of "not really"?
I am "really" "out" if the topic ever comes up. If anyone i know is unaware of that, it's just because they haven't found out YET. I don't give a shit what people think. Most people don't give a shit about it either, unless it's because they are fascinated and curious and have questions they would like me to answer.
My domestic partner is involved with someone who is not "out" to anyone (except their closest friends and daughter) because they live in a small conservative hick town and run a business there that depends on public patronage and perception. It could hurt their livelihood and income if the customer-base became aware that they're in a relationship with a married person.
My other partner is pretty weird too, and is very "anti-monogamous". However, we don't share a common group of friends at this time, so nobody "really" knows about our relationship except perhaps our other SO's.