OLD RELATIONSHIP ENERGY DRUNK
I am experiencing ORE drunkenness.
People know New Relationship Energy (NRE) drunk can cause poor judgement.
Well, hello! So does ORE drunk. I am drunk.
DH and I are in a kooshy space -- been making time for each other daily, talking a bit more on poly/opening issues. Getting more comfortable and less vomitous on the things that wig me out. Then there's awesome
sex hormone highs.
So while the agreement is at least a year of deliberation and Engagement? (And I will honor this of course.)
Ms Emotional: This feels good! Wheeee! It's all wheeee! Let's go do it NOW! Get more wheeee!
And then the entire Brain Board of Trustees turns to stare at the crazy committee member suddenly shooting rainbows out of her nipples. Some of them even speak out at once while rest just STARE all agog.
Ms Logical / Record Keeper : Not in keeping with "Engage in Discussion" agreement. Not the TIME either. Previous agreement of "Not during The Parenting Time" exists. To change records there will have to be paperwork shown to me noting changes in agreements.
Ms Diplomatic: I see you feel happy, dear. I am glad for you. Enjoy it. But let's get everyone else to that level, first. Within and then DH's Brain Board of Trustees people too.
Ms Chronic Patient Guard: Oh, god. There goes fruitcake Emotion again. One minute "YAY!" Another minute "Doom!" Does this person HAVE to serve on this committee? We cannot have anxiety and stress, people. We emotionally flood. This is part of our chronic patient make up. We just had a minor panic attack flare up with the parent elders you know. Let's keep it down to minimal slosh. I have a patient to look out for here.
Then of course Ms Emotion is seeming to ignore everything and everyone because her only job is to emote and report the emotion of the moment. She serves as the CURRENT mood meter only. (It's Ms Logical / Record keeper that reports PAST emotions felt.)
"Whee! I am invincible! DH and I are invincible! Yay! Wheee! Let's go! Happy! Happy!"
That's called feel good. Going on her input alone? That's called impulse/react. And it's good. To motivate oneself to react.
And for "I'm hungry! Impulse! Get banana!" that works out find food without a repass.
And for "Argh! My kid is in the street! Car coming! Impulse! Get that kid! " that works to push kid out of way without a repass.
But I'm talking Opening a Marriage. A major life choice change.
I want to feel that emotion loud and clear several times, not just once. That is pass and repass.
ME acting with intention. I also want to get the pass and repass on DH's side. And I want to have agreements in place. That is US acting with intention.
So I expected the "yippee skippy." Prob will happen a few more times on the journey. Prob at various times, even prob various volumes.
But the Brain Board of Trustees Chair and President?
"Alright, people. Chill. Ms Emotion, we're glad you have rainbows to share today. Please tone down the joyness and shoot rainbows from your nipples out the window outside and not all over the Board Table in here making it hard to read. We have lots of other thinking paperwork to do today -- errands, dinner for the family makin', mapping out house repairs next week, bills... how about we call a break for lunch? Resume in an hour? Let's adjourn for eats."
So... lunch break. I will aim all my happyjoyjoys at other people in my life -- spouse, kid, friends. Steam valve it OUT.
Get my inner world back down to a humming along 5-7 range on the Emotional Guidance Scale.
Too much happyjoyjoy makes it hard for the BOT to see clear and make good judgements in the business of Coping with My Life.
My best childhood friend tells me she has never experienced such thing as "too much happy." I told her I'm sorry to hear that. But why not?
It's the flip side of having shitass days from hell.
We live amidst and within science here. For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction.
For every feeling, there's an equal and opposite feeling.
That's just sense.
And good emotional balance? That's getting it BALANCED. Hello?
I don't choose how I feel. I only get to choose how I behave. If I'm feeling too much happyhappy the antidote so I can settle down to bearable volume? That is to share the happiness abroad to unload in my Outer Universe, and then busy myself with less fun things to settle down within my Inner Universe.
Hello, stupid house things. Like never ending Laundry Mountain. Thppt.
But I'm on lunch hour now.
Ms Emotion : Wheee! Wheeeee! Luuuuuunch! We love lunch happies!