Originally Posted by Magdalena
Also, I wanted to add, that I am feeling like somehow if we could find someone new and start all over again, slow and steady, that somehow this would wash out all the negative stuff...I know thats probably not a good idea, but it feels like it would clear my mind and give me a someone new to focus on...Sigh.
While I agree that starting fresh and new is much easier, IME, I believe it would be wise to solidify your broken relationship and broken trust first as best you can before pursuing new relationships. It's true you may not have the negative baggage with the new person but you will still have it with your current partner and that could be very unfair to the new person. as you slosh through it. I found it better to pour myself into my own healing and creative activities. They became my sanctuary. My inner calm became my own and I could go there whenever I needed to- without anyone else. I had a physical activities and several creative ones. In doing so I came to know myself and my own passions better. I am much more directed and more of a whole person because of it. The affair has become for me a catalyst for change and growth not just within my relationship but also for myself- on my own. There can be great opportunity here. It was my way to find happiness within. How do you find happiness within for yourself outside of your relationship?