finding myself surprised by the level of insecurity and jealousy i am experiencing recently.
been with my lover 2 years. both had one night stands with other people now and then, he more than me, both openly talking about our feelings as we went along.
been talking about polyamory as in not being primary or having hierarchies of lover in any way, since the summer.
as of a month ago both have new lovers outside our relationship, and i am struggling big time.
i wanted this as much as he did, although i didn't so much go out looking for potential other lovers as he, i'm happy i met my new lover. trouble is i can't stop thinking about his lover.
i am noticing all the differences between my new lover and his, thinking his is more likely to become an emotionally intimate primary type relationship with her whereas my new lover and i will be more casual with each other.
i am comparing myself to her, his new lover, and using the comparisons to criticise myself on every level.
part of me doesn't want to be sexual with him even, kind of turned off by the "competition" that doesn't really exist except in my crazy head.
any advice people?
Last edited by dakid; 03-15-2010 at 09:38 PM.