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Old 10-11-2012, 07:43 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by YoungPoly View Post
I suppose one of the things that was getting me so upset (and still is) is the fact that I know there is an ticking clock for me and Sec. Follow up question: how do you guys deal with a relationship that you know is going to end at some point, if you've ever been in that situation?
That is part of being human - EVERY relationship we have will end someday, whether by choice, circumstance, or death. It just takes acceptance that there are no guarantees in life and nothing last forever. A bit of existentialism can be very sobering.

Originally Posted by YoungPoly View Post
I should also point out that though I have a Prim and a Sec, I've grown to consider Sec as more of a second primary... Oh, and in case you're wondering why there's a time limit on our relationship, it's because when we (me and Prim) first started talking about the possibility of a polyship, I made a promise that he would always be my primary, and that after a couple of years we'd become a proper monoship.
Polyship, monoship... huh? Nonsensical non-words. What does the phrase "proper monoship" mean to you?

So, you promised your primary that eventually you would agree to a monogamous relationship after a few years of polyamory - but you didn't expect to have such a wonderfully deep and intense relationship with your secondary, whom you now regard as a co-primary. It sounds like renegotiating your agreement with your first primary is the next step.

You know - you don't need to use a hierarchy at all, if it makes things too complex. Life doesn't always fit into neat little compartments like that!
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
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