I understand your frustration. Poly has such a wide variety of practices that it can take quite a while to find partners that might be truly compatible with what you're looking for, and the extreme shallowness of the poly corner of the dating pool really doesn't help that.
And unfortunately the only suggestion I can offer is patience... I haven't yet heard of ways to MAKE people be exactly what we want... and robots still have a long way to go.
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