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Old 10-11-2012, 10:44 AM
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Phy Phy is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 651
Default Farewell

Our old lady was put to sleep. It has been an emotional week and I don't feel that great right now. I have to admit that I am calmer now than I have been before the decision was made and especially calmer than the day Sward brought her to the vet, but I don't really know how to handle that emptiness inside of me. For some this may not be reasonable, but she was a big part of my/our life. I first saw her when she was 2 weeks old, barely filling the palm of my hand, and now, almost 10 years later, she had to go.

Such a hard decision to make, I feel like I killed her and in a way that is true. It was my decision, it was my dog, whatever the reasons may be, I ended her life. Having a hard time coping with that, right now.

It was a great help that Sward felt able to go with her and be with her when she closed her eyes and bury her afterwards on the property of his parents. I wasn't able to be with him or her in that moment. And it was an equal relief to have Lin with me at home, calming me down a bit. I would say that this has been the right decision, I can't look at dead people or animals, especially if I knew them when they have been still alive or relate to them. My last memories of her are that of an old, but happy she-dog.

I won't look for another dog any time soon. I have to come to terms with all of this first. It seems as if this will take a while.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

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Last edited by Phy; 10-11-2012 at 07:31 PM.
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