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Old 10-11-2012, 09:40 AM
Cleo Cleo is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 414
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It's been a long long time since I posted.
It's been a long long summer... I am so very grateful that fall is here, a new season, a new beginning.
I read somewhere on this site that most people only post threads or update their blog when times are difficult. For me it's the other way around: All summer, with all its heartbreak and emotional mess, I did not feel like updating the blog at all. I did start a couple of threads asking for specific advice.. but I seemd to lack the peace of mind to talk about the bigger picture.

Things have settled down, somewhat, and I feel like journaling again.

For those of you who followed the stuff that was going on between my husband and his GF on my other threads: they're still together. For those of you who don't know what happened, here's the short version:

She has a boyfriend in another city who doesn't know about her relationship with my husband. The agreement was that she would be honest with Ren (my husband) about things. But he found out she was cheating on him, and to this day, doesn't really know how long the cheating had been going on and about how many things she lied to him.
I was very upset about it, one reason for this was that he broke one of our safer sex rules with her and that the fact that she had not been honest with him about her other sexual partners, made me feel like she betrayed me too (she knew about the rule).

Basically, we had 3 months of mess, where Ren was forever trying to break up with her, but he's so drawn to her, he kept saying 'if only I can accept that she's not honest with me' and he caught her at another lie and was devastated again. He talked to me about every moodswing, and then got upset with me when from our conversations, it was obvious that I'd prefer it if he breaks up with her (I never said this in words and really tried to just listen to him and be supportive, but I guess it was impossible for me to completely hide how I felt).

Last week it seems, or so he told me, that he had a breakthrough.
he says he no longer cares if she lies, and that he can accept her as she is. He also says that the relationship would be different from now on (she lspends half her time in our city, and when she's here, they used to see each other almost daily) : they will see each other less, have less email communication.

We'll see. I do notice that he's less stressed and restless about it. She's gone now and will be back in town next week. I will need to see and feel the 'new relationship' when it's actually happening, and in the meantime, have to wrap my head around the fact that my husbands GF is someone I don't like, don't really respect, and don;t want to socialize with.

So that's his story. Now onto mine...
__________________
early forties, straight.
the guys: Ren - husband; Curlz - bf of 2 years, Brig - bf of 7 months; Knight - non-sexual bf; MrBrown - it's complicated
Ren's girls: Lou - gf of 2 years, Liz - very new gf
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