I am indeed concerned with being replaced. My problem is not with becoming friends, but with my insecurity.
Another thing is that I used to desire a poly relationship, having a primary partner and pursuing other partners elsewhere, but none seriously. That is something that would make me ideally happy.
The V-type relationship with two equal men is what makes her ideally happy.
I worry that only her getting exactly what she wants, and me dealing with a situation that is, in my opinion, less than ideal, will lead to further inequalities.
That is why you talk to your sweetie. I do not expect you to answer point by point. I don't need to know your private biz!
But it sounds like in open model relationships?
You sound like you favor a primary-secondary flavor to it? Maybe a 1C?
She wants a non-heirarchy thing? A 2?
Sort yourselves out. Read article and talk to each OTHER. Also read on jealousy/insecure and opening up stuff.