I apologize in advance if my thread title is abrasive, but I'm in a bit of an emotionally unstable point in my life, and don't have time to pussyfoot around how things are right now.
"I want to be able to have men in my life whom are friends, that I am emotionally attached to, make love to, and can fill in gaps in my life"
My girlfriend of over 4 years has just dropped a bomb on me. We had talked in the past of planned transgressions, "hall passes" that are available when someone tickles our fancy. Though my basis for that over "friends with benefits" was the emotional attachment; I need to be the man she comes home to every night.
After a series of traumatic events over the summer, she has started to seek counseling/therapy. Last week she mentioned that as opposed to a hall pass system where the risk of STDs and danger are higher, she would prefer a "friends with benefits" type of situation; even going so far as to mention 2 men she fancied. I told her it's not something I would be okay with, based on the fact that I fear her emotional attachment to myself would weaken, or our relationship would end because of it. We left the conversation at that.
Last night, she sent me an article that she said would help explain her feelings better.
For lack of a better phrasing, I nearly shit myself. My girlfriend of 4 years, whom I live with and a have a beautiful 3 year old boy with, wants to have boyfriend(s) outside of our relationship.
I have told her that this simply will not work, it's not something I feel I could ever be okay with, and I'm not willing to try it and see.
"I don't think I can remain faithful to you anymore"
Apparently, the idea of multiple relationships is something that is a taboo bit of intel that she failed to inform me about early on in our relationship. That would have been a deal breaker for me early on.
I love her dearly however. We've been through hell with, and for, each other. We live together, 3 years now. We have a son. We have a happy home and family. Why does she seek out to destroy what we have with this? Why does she feel like I should have to share her? I didn't share my Legos as a kid, and I am sure as hell not inclined to share the woman I want to marry.
She stresses how much she loves me. How I'll still be #1. She doesn't want to lose me. I don't see this ending well in any situation. I'm inclined to leave her so she can live our her desires with people who may understand it better. I'm inclined to stay until she pulls her head out of her ass (no offense).
I'm lost. Please... Please help me.