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Old 10-11-2012, 12:50 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,747

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I know it happens, they tell me it happens, but I never really believe them... That whole notion that you can meet your life partner so young and somehow "know" they're the right person, without being with any other people and seeing what you like and despise in a relationship.
Well, I was "with" plenty of people sexually before MrS and most of my friends were guys - and I "knew" I didn't want to be in a "relationship" with any of them! In fact, I didn't want to be in a "relationship" AT ALL, I fought it tooth-and-nail actually. (I had stuff I knew I wanted to DO with my life, I was skeptical about the whole concept of "romantic love", I thought most people wasted tons of time playing around with all of these silly "relationships" that were clearly just going to fail...etc.)

I guess I "knew" that MrS and I were right for each other because I found myself inadvertently involved in a relationship despite myself (I still tease him that he "tricked" me, when really, he just patiently waited until I figured it out for myself). I never had any "knight-on-a-white-horse" notions to get in the way - I'd rather have my own horse and lance, thank you. We had no delusions that getting married would change the other person or magically ensure a "happily-ever-after" - our lives were just happier and easier when the other person was in it.

I wasn't "looking for" a relationship when Dude came around either. It's not like I was "missing" anything in my life. I fought that one as well...I thought I could use my same "no attachment" strategy that worked so well in my late teens (until MrS). Wrong again. Turns out he is "right" for me too. (And my female FWBs are "right" for me, and my friends have been "right" for me - with one exception...) Maybe it's just that I am unwilling to be in ANY relationship that is NOT right for me?


PS. Sorry to write a novel, but the even longer version is detailed in my "Journey" blog here.
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (5+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic girlfriend and BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 10-11-2012 at 01:08 AM.
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