We are interdependent beings and I certainly understand having periodic issues with this.
I'm not sure my terminology is good for what I'm asking.
Chronic is key to my questions. A chronic issue.
Also, what Galagirl said, chronic inability to manage self-validation.
It's that behavior that you seek partners to fill the neediness INSTEAD of taking time to work on your issues and heal.
Seeking partners to avoid the self maintenance and personal growth required to become a whole person.
That is what repulses me.
And It does repulse me.
Having a need for support through a difficulty or help finding a path towards improvement, acknowledgement of personal weak points and struggles impresses me.
But a refusal to DO anything to work on self improvement in those areas turns me off like vomit and babyshit.
"Love As Thou Wilt"