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Old 10-09-2012, 11:38 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,603
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But I'm sure his lawyer is going to paint it like I'm evil and I'm trying to steal him, and honestly I don't know if I can handle that.
You already handle it. You ARE handling it. You are not also required to LOVE it. Chin up. Your life is YOURS.
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The other reason I am concerned about him being around my kid is that his father was physically and emotionally abusive to him as a child (something no one in his family will admit but the things they have described are abusive). Abuse tends to perpetuate itself through generations.
Tell lawyer concern. Write all this stuff down on index cards. Fork over to lawyer. People cannot be mind readers.

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Yes. What I have learned is that if I get to the point of damaging my own health, I CANNOT do any good for anyone else.
Correct.

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Also, he is no longer The One Person I Love Most now that I have a kid. He has to share that title now if not give it up entirely.
Correct.

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My lawyer says the most likely thing is that the judge will send us to mediation. That is what I want because I DO want to get a neutral third party involved. (Five, for some reason, is adamantly against this. He's like "Why do we need mediation? We don't need mediation!")
Because if YOU have 5% of the pie? You are open to mediation to get more fair pie distribution. If I have 95% of the pie? I'm not as eager to go to mediation to give YOU more pie. If I was motivated to give you pie in the first place, you'd have it, no?

Just state your concerns, wants, needs. All your puzzle pieces. Openly, honestly, without lies. Do not perjure. Let court do as it does.

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So I'm basically waiting until that happens in order to voice all my concerns. What I'm wondering is, do I need to bring them up earlier? Should I send highlighted Speak Out Loud list to lawyer and ask her - do we wait for mediation to bring this up, or bring it up in court?
Why are you wondering here instead of asking the lawyer -- "Is this useful?" Bring it up every step of the way to anyone who wants information! People are not mind readers.

It know it is hard, but FOCUS. Your lawyer sorts all your things out for you to prepare your case and present YOUR best scenario.

So give lawyer all the puzzle pieces you got!

Let lawyer organize it into piles of what is useful in case or not useful. That's their job.

GalaGirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 10-09-2012 at 11:45 PM.
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