I do not believe in self-sacrifice to love to the point of self-damage in my healths -- mental health, emotional health, physical health, or spiritual health.
Yes. What I have learned is that if I get to the point of damaging my own health, I CANNOT do any good for anyone else. It's the put-on-your-own-oxygen-mask-first thing.
Also, he is no longer The One Person I Love Most now that I have a kid. He has to share that title now if not give it up entirely. And as you have pointed out and as I mentioned in my blog thread, he can (in theory) take care of himself - kid can't. Also, none of my "loving behaviors" have done him any good so far. So going to cut my losses there.
My lawyer says the most likely thing is that the judge will send us to mediation. That is what I want because I DO want to get a neutral third party involved. (Five, for some reason, is adamantly against this. He's like "Why do we need mediation? We don't need mediation!")
So I'm basically waiting until that happens in order to voice all my concerns. What I'm wondering is, do I need to bring them up earlier? Should I send highlighted Speak Out Loud list to lawyer and ask her - do we wait for mediation to bring this up, or bring it up in court?