How DARE you willingly have a kid with someone and then decide he should have no influence in this kids life. OK, so he may not be the best role model, but my God who is? You say that he has never seen him get really angry with a kid, yet you THINK he would be dangerous but you have no proof. I know a great many people who go ballistic when it comes to adults, but are completely different with kids.
Perhaps you missed the part where I DID say I WANTED HIM TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS KID.
See, GG, this is my problem. People are going to read my situation wrong and think that I'm trying to steal the kid from his dad for revenge. I'm not. I'm not trying to hurt him. I don't want to deceive anyone. I have legitimate concerns here.
But I'm sure his lawyer is going to paint it like I'm evil and I'm trying to steal him, and honestly I don't know if I can handle that.
The other reason I am concerned about him being around my kid is that his father was physically and emotionally abusive to him as a child (something no one in his family will admit but the things they have described are abusive). Abuse tends to perpetuate itself through generations.
Also, since I don't have to pay for childcare at this time, no childcare cost was figured into calculating the child support. Ergo, his payments are less than they would otherwise be.
I actually could care less about the child support as long as I am actually able to support us. I simply want to be the primary parenting figure in my child's life. I want my child's relationship with his father to be more like that of an adult friend or relative. He cannot be trusted to meet a child's emotional needs.
I sympathize with your brother and your friend, but this is not that sort of situation. Please read more carefully and don't make assumptions like that.