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Old 10-09-2012, 09:38 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,810

Divorce -- Take notes of the behaviors. What was said, what you feel, what you worry about. In the light of doing what is best for child. Get a mediator to hammer out details and put in a checkpoint. Like until this kid reaches their majority and is an adult themselves, we will review agreements every ____ mos to update needs for growing kid.

Focus on what YOU want. Ask for what YOU want. For your alimony things.

Focus on what YOU feel, Ask for things to assuage those feelings on the kid things. Him saying he wants to get out of child support -- that's disturbing to me.

He's not the judge in your case. He's him.

Your judge is your judge. Your judge will listen to your side and his. And then you see what you see. BREATHE. But stop listening to him. Get a third party person in there. A mediator and/or lawyer.

There is the social idea that getting divorced just because your needs aren't getting met is a selfish thing to do. "You're ruining your family for the sake of your own happiness!" It's really pervasive.
You are feeling community pressure from WHO? Could draw back on this old strength then.

Then as we got older, everyone in the world wanted to give me advice and tell me what to do about my relationship with him, and finally I was like SCREW YOU IíM DOING WHAT I WANT EVEN IF IT TURNS OUT TO BE A MISTAKE. And Iím glad I did it that way. I donít think I would have learned as much about myself otherwise.
Whatever well you drew on then to pilot your destiny and live your life as you see fit? Draw on that well once more.

I have this thing where I need to prove that I Am The Person Who Can Love The Most Regardless Of What It Does To Me.
That is a wrinkle you must iron out and reconcile for yourself in your character.

I do not believe in self-sacrifice to love to the point of self-damage in my healths -- mental health, emotional health, physical health, or spiritual health.

But I think I have proven that by now. Gone past proving it. Made some dumb decisions trying to prove it. Now I just need to figure out where to go from here.
Well, good judgement comes from experience. Experience sometimes comes from bad judgement. You will get there. Hang in there.

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