Originally Posted by redpepper
first of all may I just say if I could be half the woman you have been I would consider myself an incredible person. You are amazing. My hat goes off to you for putting in so much effort.
Is it possible that you could see a future with both of them in it? You were her best friend and she yours... your husband still loves you and I would wager that your ex best friend loves you too. It might take a change of thinking but is possible.
Redpepper, Thanks for the compliment, I have admired your ability to love so freely and see that I have a lot to learn from your example. It's that kind of freedom where my happiness may lie.
It is possible that I could see a future with both of them in it. I think the part I am having a hard time with is knowing what it would look like. I know I need to heal my relationship with Mary so that I can neutralize my emotional charge about her. It feels like right now we are creating compartments for my relationship with my husband and his relationship with her, and in the long run that won't create a satisfying situation for anyone. So tapping into the love that Mary and I potentially have (and had for sure) for one another is key. It's hard to process all of the pain of the initial betrayal, and to feel like I am the only one feeling the pain now. Their pain was in not being together and is gone now.