Originally Posted by SkylerSquirrel
And we are going through a divorce and I have to make myself NOT listen to him in order to protect myself and our kid (1 year old).
So here are some current complications:
- I want him to have as little influence as possible on our kid. I donít want our kid learning these behaviors from him.
- I do want him to have a relationship with our kid. I think that would be good for him. And he is really good with kids when heís not angry at them. (I have never seen him get really angry at a kid but I have reason to believe it wouldnít be pretty.)
- I want his family to have a relationship with our kid, as they have been heavily involved in kid's life.
- I have no idea how to get the courts to take his mentally and emotionally abusive tendencies into account. Thereís not any particular incident that I can point to as obvious. Itís a lot of memories all muddled together in a soup. And itís not very obvious to an outside observer.
This thread has hit so many nerves for me that I want to throw something.
How DARE you willingly have a kid with someone and then decide he should have no influence in this kids life. OK, so he may not be the best role model, but my God who is? You say that he has never seen him get really angry with a kid, yet you THINK he would be dangerous but you have no proof. I know a great many people who go ballistic when it comes to adults, but are completely different with kids.
If you truly believe this man will endanger your kid's life, ask for supervised visitation, but do NOT try and cut off contact. Make arrangements/agreements with him, that if things get to be too much for him, you will be close by to rescue them both.
My brother and a friend of mine are currently in custody issues where the ex-wife (or soon to be ex) is doing everything possible to remove all influence these dads have in their kids lives. These women have been advised how to lie/manipulate the courts "to get their way" and gain total control over their kids. The deception because they no longer want anything to do with these men or they want revenge is astounding and sickening.