thankyou both very much. And sorry for not clarifying from he beginning. I suppose what I need more than anything is to know that I/we will get there eventually. And what to focus on in the mean time. Obviously strengthening our baisic dyadic relationship is of great importance.
I suppose the zen would be finding peace in what I don't have. At the same time, then I feel like i'm wasting some of the best years of my life.
Ehh... "life is a great big balancing act." - Dr. Suess.