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Old 10-09-2012, 03:54 AM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
It doesn't just "feel" lopsided, it is lopsided. Only you can decide whether you're truly comfortable with that. Sure, from a logical point, polyamory might "make sense." But that doesn't make it right for everyone.
I agree with this. I also think, though, that there's some merit to the idea of "you don't know until you try". If you're curious about whether you'd be able to be poly yourself, then what's the harm in putting up a profile on OKCupid and seeing what happens? As long as you're honest about "I'm giving this a try but not sure how it'll go and how I'll manage everything" so potentials have the option of declining to participate in your experiment, it could help with the "not noticing people" aspect of getting out into the dating world. It's not like putting up a profile is any sort of commitment to going out with someone, so if you decide you don't want to after all, or you try it and it's not for you, then no harm, no foul.
What it does mean is that you'll have to double the amount of hard work, every time you add someone to your life. If it's not something you truly desire, than it's a lot of work for not a lot of gain.
I would even say it quadruples the amount of work, rather than double. I have work to do in my relationship with MC, and I have work to do in my relationship with TGIB, and then there's EXTRA work since I'm also managing the balancing act between the two relationships. Rather like GG's polymath.
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
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