Thread: Just LR
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Old 10-09-2012, 02:19 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,864

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
H I have never dated out of a desire to 'find someone'. I have found people along my path that became partners. The idea of searching for a partner baffles me. I can't even fathom how that works.
THIS I completely understand. I have never "looked for" anyone in my life (friend, lover, partner). I have "fallen into" any relationships (friend, lover, partner) that I have ever had. To be fair though, I never actually dated, I did go one a few "dates" when I was young - they were uncomfortable, I didn't like it, I decided to never do it again.

For me (I relate this to personality type, as I recently discussed in my "Notebook" blog on this site) - either you are a nice person that I will talk to again should the opportunity arise but have no extra interest in seeking you out, or you are one of "my people" that clicks from the onset and our relationship goes deep right away. (If you are not a nice person then I have no need to talk to you again...ever.)

I guess I view it - would I rather spend time relating to you or being alone? (I like myself, I have interesting ideas that I wouldn't mind contemplating further, I am perfectly happy having a discussion with myself if there is no-one more interesting to talk to). To be in a relationship with me (friend, lover, partner) - you have to add something to the conversation.

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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