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Old 10-09-2012, 01:49 AM
texaschick texaschick is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 12
Default Need Advice on how to 'break up' but still be friends

My relationship with my secondary is very complicated. We have been friends for 25 years. He is friends with my hubby (Primary). We are all intertwined in a social circle. Not only is my secondary a lover , but he is one of my best friends. We literally tell each other everything.

However, there is a problem from which I wish to remove myself. My secondary has some major issues with cheating/deception. He has always been openly honest with me because he knows how I feel about honesty being a huge part of being poly. He's told me about all women he has slept with while we have been together.

Recently, he became involved with a woman who is mono. He introduced her to us this past weekend. They spent three nights with us. The problem is , after meeting her , I absolutely adore her. I can't conceive continuing a sexual relationship with him if he isn't going to own up to it to her.

I want to keep the friendship and the emotional aspect of our relationship (which she knows about) and eliminate the sexual aspect. This will keep any of us from getting hurt.

Is this a slippery slope? Is it possible? He and I have always discussed that this could happen one day if he did met someone he liked who is mono. However, I'm not certain how he will handle it. I have made peace it will have to happen. I won't be involved in deceiving her and ruining their relationship.

Also, on a side note. I know he is incapable for monogomy for any length of time (he has said as much), so part of me wants to continue because he will probably be sleeping with others in a few months when he gets bored.

Should I follow my conscience and do the right thing?
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