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Old 10-09-2012, 01:37 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Originally Posted by nurseypoo1 View Post
But sometimes i just cant get over the beong that i am not ready yet for there to be an "in love" type of involvement. Maybe one day but not yet.
That's always risky. When you start sleeping with someone, you can't just "decide" not to fall in love. If your husband is having sex with another woman, you have to know that it's a possibility they will fall in love. So you either need to tell him you're not comfortable with the sex until you're comfortable with the love, or else you need to work fast to get over that insecurity.

Surprisingly, and im sure some will disagree... my husband DOES meet every one of my needs.
You'd be surprised. Many of us don't look at poly as just a way to get different needs met by different people. I'm personally vehemently opposed to that idea. Poly only works for me when each of my partners would be "enough" in and of themselves.

Originally Posted by nurseypoo1 View Post
I know logically that this is possible. But emotionally i am not ready for it yet. One of our "boundaries" was no emotions. At least for now. Not until i completely accept the physical aspect of it and deal with those emotions. He said he doesnt even want to feel love for anyone else. Not on our level anyway. I honestly dont know how i would react if he told me this. Not rite now anyway.
But logically you know it can happen. What contingency plan is in place for that? If your husband develops feelings someone, does he plan to leave her? Is that really fair to the other person, whose only crime is being the object of his affection? It's a dangerous game he's playing...
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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