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Old 10-08-2012, 11:40 PM
lapwing lapwing is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 8

Thanks for the link Annabel, it was very insiteful. I can already see where I was going wrong with my way of thinking. I have some difficulties imaging them as anything besides a couple, though I consciously know they're individuals, I had all these plans about starting conversations with them as a unit, I guess. But the more I do read the more hopeless it seems.

I've talked about my relationship with them since they don't have any real connection to my boyfriend and I've been trying not to alienate any of his and my mutual friends with the garbage. I'm worried maybe I gave them the wrong idea now, though. I'm sure they have thoughts they don't share with me like I obviously do with them, but I think they generally understand my open relationship is something that doesn't work. Which is true. I didn't know much about poly and open relationships before MT because even though I sincerely dislike him I've been subjected to enough time with him, and he has enough experience with this, that I sort of understand how it could work. Doesn't mean it's working.

Which is scary because I thought I had a good relationship with Salt that could overcome a lot but I've been proven horribly wrong. I'm jealous, and it's offputting to think that either of them could get jealous, because it's a terrible feeling and a shitty state of mind.

I haven't even had an open talk about sexuality with them. I wasn't even thinking about that until now. I'm pretty sure Finch thinks I'm gay and I'm starting to wonder if maybe that's why she's been affectionate with me. And Pigeon's a really nice guy, but I have no idea how broad his actual likes are, I just know he's comfortable enough to touch and share a bed and hold hands but that's nothing, and come to think of it, we're always drinking at these times.

I know I'm working on a lot of assumptions. It does nothing to speculate even though I REALLY want to speculate, and I want to speculate for the best, that'll surely end badly. I need a checklist or something.

1. Comprehension of poly relations
2. Sexuality
3, 4, 5, etc.
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