Thread: gf problem?
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Old 10-08-2012, 10:47 PM
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jones jones is offline
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: stoke
Posts: 125

It sounds like it might possibly be a case of J being with you sexually because you and G, your primary, presented yourselves as a package deal. Is it that you only wanted a girlfriend to be with you both and required that she be with both of you, rather than see if she wanted to date one or the other of you separately?

thanks for replying hun,

when we first started 'seeing' j we met her and her bf though a swingers, we had joint meets but I wanted alone time with both of them, the reason why because I felt uncomfortable with our first 4sum because it was really watching g and j having sex while b filmed so I decided to have alone time but the alone time with J stopped because g wanted to see her too and I was made to feel like I could not see her alone if at all because g missed her. so I gave up on alone time with her and j and g fell in love.

I fell in love at the same time but didn't tell her till a few weeks had passed, I thought I was the first to tell her however G had already told her but couldn't find a way to tell me which resulting in a lot of lies.

sometimes I do feel she would rather I wasn't in the picture so her and g can have their own relationship and not worry about upsetting me with their actions and love.

If that is the case, and she was really hot for G, then she might have felt that fucking you too was the only way she could be with G - the one that she is really into. She might not even be bisexual, or would just prefer to be friends with you but saw that in order to have a more romantic and physical relationship with G, she had to "do you" too. Or it could simply be a case of attraction and connection between you and her having its own ebb and flow - it can't always stay the same all the time.
tbh this thought breaks my heart, she has had relationships with other women in the past, I am not aware the sexual side of their relationship but I do feel she leans towards men more. when I asked her a few weeks ago if I was her gf, she had a look on her face that said no but she said I don't see why not.

I am just guessing, of course I don't know - but it sounds like a conversation might need to happen among all three of you.

I hate to see people sell themselves short like that and go along with having sex with partners they would rather not have sex with, but we've seen this sort of dynamic happen time and time again here. It usually seems best if a couple dates separately because this seems to be very common. It's just nigh on impossible for two people in a couple to find one other person who will relate to, develop feelings for, and be sexually attracted to them both all equally.
yes of course but I like to hear that different view as heartbreaking as it is, I wish she would just tell me the truth, she says she isn't upset about losing me as a gf but losing her best friend

I have tried talking to her till I am blue in the face.. g says I am overreacting and she says she loves me but sees me as her best mate.
in a relationship with A, open to women only.
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