This is why both of us would be full supporters of legalized & controlled prostitution. Let the sexual needs stand alone where they need to and allow everyone to focus more on meaningful relationships and love.
I personally can't separate the two. I cannot have sex with someone who I don't respect and trust first. For me prostitution wouldn't be a valid option. I know there are others who feel the same. (Edited to add: I don't at all have a problem with prostitution and I think it should be legalized and controlled as well. But that's another thread.
But I digress.
Krummi - I came to poly in a similar situation as you. In fact take this: (... From all outward appearances, my wife and I are happily married. Unfortunately our sex life is almost non-existent (I have a fairly high sex drive), but we get along very well, and otherwise have a good relationship.)
and reverse it for us. My husband and I have been married for 11 years, haven't had sex in 7 of them. Several years ago, on the verge of an affair (mine), my husband and I separated. Technically I would say the relationship I had at that point was still an affair, since although my husband knew about it, he wasn't happy about it, didn't condone it, and actually moved out of the house for 6 months.
After that relationship ended, we had some long discussions, he moved back in and we agreed to try an "open marriage". I had a nearly 2 year relationship with someone else in a similar situation which ended this past summer.
In the meanwhile, my husband is now 100% comfortable with the idea that I am poly and that I will have a lover/relationship outside our marriage. I'm not sure he sees *himself* as poly right now, but I do know he's leaning towards looking for a relationship for his sexual needs. I think he's still struggling with some issues within himself and I'm respecting that and giving him space to work through them, while still being open to discussing it when he needs to.
I"m not gonna say it was easy or that we didn't struggle along the way (sometimes still struggle), but it is working for us. It takes a lot of communication though, and sometimes it takes knowing when *not* to communicate. Not everything needs to be said the moment you have the thought.
So keep reading, keep learning, and hang around here. Know that you're not alone.