Ah, sorry about that Polypenguin. I was rushing and did not think to check previous story links/posts.
If this is the case as Jane describes? You are at checkpoint Charlie? At the agreed upon date for moving forward to you dating too? Have you been fair, ethical, and delivered all your stuff as agreed upon last time then?
Yes? Then announce you have met all deliverables and will now start to date as you both agreed upon.
Let her own her feelings on that announcement. She can then choose her next behavior.
Can't really learn to cope with feelings in polyshipping and you dating unless she allows herself to experience them.
But if she's basically not wanting to give you a clear answer on polyshipping with you? Foot dragging? Running you around in circles? Not wanting to give a clear yes or no?
You have to move forward for yourself then without taking her information on board. If you want a polyship and she's basically not willing and also not willing to clearly state she is not willing?
You have to decide for yourself what you value and want to do next:
- I value being with her more than I value polyshipping. I will choose to stay in a CLOSED monoship then because I can deliver that.
- I value polyshipping more than I value monoshipping. I will choose to set her free then, because she wants mono and I cannot deliver that.
I know it's hard to feel. But I'm with Jane -- it is what it is. You are at a crossroads.