Thread: finding zen
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Old 10-07-2012, 10:19 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3,703

What is the need? You are not being specific as to what the needs are/were. What the agreement and deliverables and expectations are.

It has been over a year now, since it was brought to the floor.
This means what? Since you first started talking about it?

And eight months since it was agreed upon.
And this means what? Since you decided you were open and you started to date other people? Aren't you dating then?

If so, that is the WHAT. "We are open now and we are dating other people."

There is no explanation of the HOW -- how we agree to be together while dating other people. Is she falling down on the job? Not honoring your agreements?
You do not list. So I don't know where the ball is at.
  • Is it on YOU? Because she's waiting on you to articulate your next needs? She cannot mind reader you.
  • Or if the ball is on HER because she's not living up to her end of agreements made? What were the agreements? Are they reasonable?

I do ok in being alright with not getting the relationship in which i'd like, but every once in a while it really gets me down.
Again -- not specific. What IS the relationship model you'd like?

She has told me she wants it and she's told me she doesn't.
Ok, not specific again.
  • Does that mean she is monoamorous and wants to stay in a CLOSED polyship of 2 but is willing to attend poly community events with you or read poly materials with you, and listen to you crushes and whatnot so you have some expression of your poly-ness?
  • Does that mean that she identifies as monoamorous but poly friendly? That SHE doesn't want another partner but just you. But is ok with YOU dating and having another partner?

  • Does she want to explore to see if she is polyamorous herself? Where is the line in the sand here?

Not enough information given for me to give constructive feedback.


Last edited by GalaGirl; 10-07-2012 at 10:28 PM.
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