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Old 10-07-2012, 01:49 PM
LostInLove4 LostInLove4 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 14
Default First time he's in love with another

I have been in an open relationship for 5 years now, but neither of us has ever had anything more than flings.

My boyfriend of nearly 10 years has found someone he says he has a "deep connection" with and I am having a hard time adjusting to this. They are classmates in university - lab partners. They spend 6 hours a day together in school and many nights they spend together doing homework and he simply doesn't come home. They go on field trips together and weekends away.

I am perfectly fine with him loving another woman and I welcome it. I am very happy for him. I work two jobs right now to put him through school and I am not home as much as I used to be either, but I really feel like this lack of time spent together is making us drift apart.

I thought we had a committed polyamorous relationship but he frequently tells me he can't possibly know if he will always love me. People fall out of love all the time. I know this makes perfect logical sense, but it hurts. I know I will always love him.

I'm torn up about it. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I'm distracted at work. I am turning into a basketcase and I think that will just push him away even more.

I guess my question is this: How do I make it clear that I think we need to work on US a little bit more without coming across as clingy and trying to keep him from her?
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