Originally Posted by GalaGirl
Yes, she's known about her feelings a long time.
But I meant him. He just learned of her feelings in a way he cannot deny or ignore. So him making a rash decision about his marriage while he could be emotionally flooded would not be wise if he ultimately wishes to engage with her and actually do repairs.
It doesn't sound like he's being given the chance to make any decision about his marriage. It sounds like she tried to get through to him, and he didn't listen until it was too late. She's delivered the death blow: I want out. Ship has sailed, better luck next time.
Frankly, I don't disagree with her. If he won't even go to counselling when she says "Come to counselling or I'm leaving" then he's never going to do what he needs to do. To me, that demonstrates his lack of commitment to the relationship. If you won't even step up to the plate when she has one foot out the door, what hope does she have that he'll ever improve if she turns around and walks back in?
And then, she sees what kind of husband BS is. She can see with her own eyes that there are guys out there who WILL do what they have to in order to hold on to what they love. BS could have just as easily blown a gasket, tried to put the kibosh on it, and made a big mess of things. He even said he relates to the other husband. But though he denies it, he IS being the "model husband" as far as his wife's GF is concerned: not only has he been a loving and supportive partner these 25 years, but now that he has to deal with something he never expected, he's handling it like a pro. So can you blame the gf for looking at her useless lump of a man, and saying to herself that she deserves better?