Fucking around is fucking around. It doesn't matter if everyone is doing it, it's still fucking around. There's a lot of stupid shit that everyone's doing, like getting up to their eyeballs in debt, helicopter parenting their children, driving SUVs that never leave paved roads... Convention doesn't justify anything.
Marriage today is sorta fucked-up compared to way-back-when. It used to be a necessary business contract. Women lacked the means to support themselves and their children. In return, men were guaranteed paternity of the children they were raising. People didn't used to expect happiness out of their marriages, because that wasn't the point. You did your duty, and maybe you grew to love your spouse. Rare and blessed were they who married the one they already loved.
In the 1960s, the whole point of marriage was turned on its head. The motivation gradually became more about love and support than making and raising babies.
Nowadays, it's easier to get a divorce than a driver's license. Many people expect perfection, and they walk away if they don't get it. Or they play along, going through the motions without really being present. But one thing most people don't do is the really hard work required to make relationships work. That really hard work includes learning to communicate honestly with your spouse. The fact that so many people chicken out doesn't let everyone else off the hook, they'll just go find someone else to fuck it up with.
Originally Posted by InquiringOne
So unless someone has been lucky enough to be influenced by the minute number of people that have the radically different poly mindset, they if for no other reason, fall into monogamy by default.
Not true. I "invented" polyamory when I was 10. Only later did I learn that I was not the first inventor of polyamory. But I was never at risk of falling into monogamous marriage by default... I was just at risk of never getting married because I knew monogamy could never work for me.
I also "invented" the idea that people see colours differently, i.e. my blue could be your red. Turns out someone beat me to that, also. My girlfriend's daughter "invented" "brain in a vat" (aka The Matrix) when she was all of 6.