I have finally met the couple of my dreams! I will call them Carrie and Gary. It has been 2 ½ years since I set an intention and began to focus my attention on finding a couple.
Much is said in the polyamory community about the unicorn- that elusive bisexual single female wanting to be in a sexual relationship with a couple. That describes me and about 3 years ago I allowed myself to acknowledge my deep desire to meet a couple that I am mentally, emotionally and sexually compatible with.
That said- a true unicorn is sexually exclusive to that couple alone. I would not fit into that category. Now that I have discovered the world of non-monogamy, I can’t see myself going back to monogamy. Ethical non-monogamy is working very well for me at this stage in my life and I don’t see myself veering away from that.
My sincere desire for this ideal couple has been persistent and ever present. Not realizing it completely, I view every couple I meet through the lens of a Unicorn looking for her perfect couple and I have done so for many years now.
There are people on this site that just happened into a triad connection between a couple and a single female- they weren't looking for it. In fact, many people say- you will find it when you quit looking for it. And maybe that is partially true for me because I shifted my focus to finding couples that me and Richard are compatible with. And we have found 3 couples that we are mentally, emotionally, socially and sexually compatible with. We spend time with each of these couples and sometimes as a group. This was also one of my desires when I entered into a non--monogamous lifestyle- To create a social community of like minded individuals! We have plans in New Orleans for later in the month to attend an outdoor concert with all of our couple friends!
So, I guess my desire and determination combined with action steps (continuing to meet people and spend time with them) has finally paid off!!
Several weeks ago—while at the local lifestyle club, we ran into a couple we had met over two years ago when we first entered the lifestyle. Richard had no experience yet and I was still a bit unsure as to how I would react emotionally after being sexual with another couple or couples. This couple was experienced—they had been in the lifestyle for almost 10 years and they had been married for 35 years. Looking back, I’m pretty sure we were intimidated by them and we felt too inexperienced to pursue anything further with them- so we didn't.
Well, things have changed a lot in 2 ½ years! We have had lots of experience now and we feel very confident in the lifestyle.
Seeing them reminded me of how attractive they are to me. I found myself thinking “here is a couple that I could really enjoy”. She is friendly, talkative, sexy and confident. He is also confident and friendly- not as talkative, but not shy either- a perfect gentleman.
I couldn't remember everything we had talked about when we first met, so I asked her if she is bisexual. She said “yes” and the more we talked the more I remembered that she had expressed a desire to have a female partner- for herself mainly, but someone that could also enjoy her husband.
This is a woman who truly wants and desires female intimacy and companionship first- which is hard to find. Often women are motivated primarily by how this turns on the men in their lives. Granted—I am a voyeur and I love “performing” for others, but my desire for female intimacy is genuine and deep rooted. It seems that Carrie feels the same way!
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.