Secondary isn't easy for me
When I love, I tend to do so with all my heart. So I've struggled in the same way as you, WhatHappened. Now my situation is a bit different in that I have both a primary and a secondary partner...and so does my secondary. We're each other's secondary I guess.
My feelings for the secondary partner have grown to a point of wanting more and wondering where to go from here. Truth is, short term, there is no room for more. Maybe long term (years down the road) there could be ways to arrange a co-living situation, but that's a big maybe.
I have to accept the limitations of that secondary relationship: the finite amount of time that we can spare, always making sure our primaries get their needs met first so no one gets upset, not being able to take vacations together (or have any kind of overnight dates) and trying not to miss him like crazy when we're not together. But he's worth it.
I tried being reasonable. I didn't like it. ~Clint Eastwood~