My SO, has some how warmed up to things, and there have been a lot of fast developments happening...
At this point:
1) We've agreed that I can be free to connect with girls when I'm out, go on one date per week, and enjoy one 24 hour "date" per month.
2) And we are now "interviewing" girls for two open slots in our bedroom!
A lot of peace has been restored in our relationship, and yesterday my SO said she "feels in love" again. We had a jet-tub bubble bath last night, and while I was holding her I was imagining another special girl being in there with us, and I felt a lot of relief knowing that this is now finally coming. We've had a lot of stress on the relationship the last 4 months because I've changed, and there was ample resistance from her and ample pushing away by me.
There's been a lot of insecurity around whether or not we're getting married.
Three days ago, I mentioned to her that I am not interested in getting married legally unless it allows my independence financially and legally, and the ability to marry others.
Yesterday, I told her I would consider marrying her, if there was no legal ramifications (ie: prenup necessary), and if we were comfortably living with two more girls who would not be hurt by the idea.
Apparently two weeks ago she burned her wedding dress outside after one of our "fights". Last night she took me to where the ashes are on the ground.
A lot of her dreams have been vanquished and that has been hard for her. And I'm sitting on new dreams. I still think she is simply accepting my dreams, but she's been talking a lot about scenarios that describe M dreams, without me instigating it, and that has been pleasantly surprising. She's ready to live with other girls...so she says. I think if she could choose her own life, she'd choose monogamy, but her open mind lately has invited a lot of peace back into our relationship.