Thread: we messed up
View Single Post
Old 10-05-2012, 06:02 PM
finch finch is offline
New Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 3
Default wise words

Thank you all for your kind words and support.
He sounds like he is doing a lot of wishful thinking and pretending that polyamory works for him, while not actually doing any of the work that makes it a healthy relationship structure for him or his partners.
That's exactly what I think, and what I have been trying to communicate for some time. I have not been able to get this message across, I guess because I get loud when something that is so apparent to me is so foggy to another person.
the only person I can change is me
This is where I am. I will not get loud, I will not argue any more.
Now he can choose his next behavior
I wish he would! I have said this is crucial to me if our relationship is to continue. He is playing the same old begging for sympathy card and I find it on the one hand immature whilst on the other I AM sympathetic.
To you all, I am caring to my own needs to relax and I try not to put myself under pressure. I do not believe I am the cause of H's illness and I wrote a kind but clear letter to G's kids telling them this. Took some courage as I didn't want to mess them up further around their mother's death but it worked out fine. They have since apologized to G but not to me. The girls aged 20 and 21 have however since visited me at my home for the first time ever, so that's one sort of apology I suppose.
Galagirl:One day I hope to be the one to fill in those kids on the real story. Their mother H presented me as the cheating other woman. I asked G to clarify this them but he has not done so yet. When the time comes, I will.
Thank you once again, you wise women. I will let you know what happens.
Reply With Quote