Originally Posted by Ceoli
Or you can chose partners that you trust will make choices that honor the relationship and behave well. Even in the midst of NRE.
I am in total agreement with you here. I know there have been times in our relationship where issues have arisen between Sea and Tommy that had nothing to do with me. From an outsiders perspective, it could be said if I wasn't there, those issues would be moot. I have been a sounding board for both of them, and a mediator if that's what the situation called for. They have done the same for me in my respective relationships with each of them. Sometimes we hear what our partner(s) can miss.
At the same time, if I was a different personality, I could have taken advantage of those problems. I instead choose to step back and allow the two of them to work it out. If that means not physically being in contact for an "x" amount of time, then so be it. They are the core relationship, and for whatever reason that core becomes unstable, then it is much my responsibility as their's to give them time to work it out.
Having said that, Sea has also given Tommy and I time to work out our differences, and Tommy gives Sea and I time to work out ours. We are in this relationship together, so it's up to us to establish a way to make it work.
The only "rule" we have is complete honesty and open communication. We don't have to agree with each other, we do have to listen to how the other is feeling, and respect those feelings.
Asking for something, doesn't necessarily mean you will receive what you are asking for, but being able to ask and not worrying if someone in our relationship will be offended is huge. If we can't give what the other is asking, we say we can't, and state our reasons why. Again, it doesn't mean the others agree, but at least it's out there on the table for all of us to discuss, and eventually find a middle ground.
Like any relationship, it's about respecting each other, and not allowing issues to become the be all to end all of our relationship. We have found that if spend all our time discussing our relationship, we forget to live it, and appreciate it. But that just my HO.