Originally Posted by GalaGirl
Then REST days where nothing is happening. We must plan this and protect it like the holiest of holy's! We usually tell people we "have a family thing already on that day." We don't tell them it is family resting. People underrate the need for rest and overschedule themselves.
Soooo true! Nothing stresses me out like looking at my Google calendar and just seeing a smear of colour every minute of the week. Likewise, my husband works his tail off when he's away at work. When he comes home he just wants to veg out and do nothing, and who can blame him?
I pretty much schedule everything for my husband and I. I'm just one of those organized types who likes to take care of these things, and he's happy not to have to deal with it. I say "You have a dentist appointment next Friday" and he says "Awww, I hate the dentist! Do I have to? You're mean!" and then he sulks around for a few minutes and gets over it.
He's got his work schedule (10 days out of town, 4 days off) and I work around that. With my girlfriend, we schedule things on the fly, usually with less than a day's notice. We're both pretty busy, so we just get together when we can.
One thing that's important to remember is that "balance" doesn't mean "equal." It's perfectly OK to spend more time with one person than another, especially if one of them has a busy schedule (i.e. kids) and isn't as available as much. Like for me, my husband's only home 4 days out of 14, and half of that is spent travelling back and forth. So yeah, it's not uncommon for me to see my girlfriend more often than my husband. It would be stupid to say to her "sorry, we can't have a date tonight, because my husband is out of town and I haven't had the chance to see him since our last date."
Also, don't underestimate the value of phone and digital communication. Of course it's nicer to see someone in person, but just knowing they're thinking of you can go along way towards feeling connected.