SchrodingersCat -- I have been thinking about that. Like, even if he wants to go through the motions of "transitioning" to secondaries (mainly, me moving out) I kind of think we will end up back together anyway.
He feels like he needs a partner who is seriously committed to seeking out this lifestyle. For some reason he is willing to throw away our entire relationship on the basis of the fact that I am reluctantly/tentatively willing, but not enthusiastically dedicated to this idea.
Another thing that I am realizing as I respond to these points is that he also claims to not really want a hierarchical model -- which is hard for me to accept, but I can see some benefits to it -- yet HE is the one "demoting" me to secondary? This shit makes no fucking sense.