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Old 10-04-2012, 07:26 PM
Vinccenzo Vinccenzo is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 373

This hits a grey area to me and one I don't see as being realistically resolvable simply down to one important factor:
Informed consent.

You don't ask for this information and that works for you as part of the things you need or don't need to know to continue on in your relationship with D. You don't have a personal need to know this information and that is why you don't ask. It becomes easy (for you) to consider this information to be unnecessary.

It is entirely possible there is a type of information that you do prioritize and consider necessary for your continued association with D that someone else might not feel the same about. In that instance someone else could say "well I don't ask to know that; it isn't necessary for me to know so why does Pipersgirl even ask for that information?"

At what point is it okay for us to decide what information should or shouldn't be important to others?

D could have a partner with a wildly different set of priorities. Someone who doesn't want to be involved with someone who engages in particular acts and those acts could be going on with one of his other partners. Do we tell that person its none of their business? That they shouldn't be able to ask for assurance that one of there partners is indeed someone they would have no qualms about being intimate with?

I get it can be frustrating especially when you end up dealing with the fall out. Were it me, I wouldn't tell someone what they can or can't ask to know unless its getting right down to the gritty of details (which whether or not you had sex isn't but whether or not you had particular sex acts is). I would just ask that if it causes a disruption in THEIR association that you not be made aware of it. Ka should be able to ask whatever she feels she needs to know but you shouldn't have to manage the fallout when she asks and then objects to the answer.

I also noticed that you get one night to yourself with D and Ka gets one night to herself with D but it seemed unclear if Ki doesn't. At least that is how I read it.

"We have the following set date nights: Friday - me; Saturday - Ka and Ki; Sunday - Ka."

Is Ki a lover to Ka and D only? That would make this all make much more sense. Ka wouldn't ask about Ki and D because SHE ALREADY KNOWS - SHE WAS THERE. And that may be something she needs to feel comfortable with a lack of exclusivity with D. This wouldn't be your fault but it would add up to a big "ohhhh that's why".

Last edited by Vinccenzo; 10-04-2012 at 07:28 PM.
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