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Old 10-03-2012, 10:42 PM
monogamishSF monogamishSF is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 48

NovemberRain: I giggled too.

But to both of your comments: this is all fine and dandy, I have no problem stating what I want, and G is well-versed. She often needs me to tell her a few times in order to retain the info, which makes me talk even MORE about what I want. And by that time, G comes at me for "always" considering my OWN feelings and never considering hers. I've asked her to be more explicit about what she needs from me in this situation, and it's clear she's not as good at stating what she needs. She's afraid of being "yelled at constantly." But I told her if she doesn't pull any shady business (and in this situation I don't think she will try), then I have nothing to "yell" about.

But right now, one of her stated needs is to be able to hang out with these people freely, when they call her to hang out, and I don't actually feel too weird about that prospect. I would feel weird going with her, yet. But they are all my friends too (I introduced them all). I feel more weird that she'll tell half-truths to me about how it went thereafter, and what her level of contact is with TP. Right now, they don't speak, and if they start sharing spaces again, they will have to grow SOMEthing. I don't expect them to ignore each other, you know?

But anyway, yeah, apparently I'm too willing to state what I want, so G feels I "make everything about me." But I hear her out and respond. Maybe what she's frustrated with is just the limits that are a direct result of her actions, and is trying to guilt me into shifting my needs to make her now-complicated life a little easier. No thanks.

But then, maybe I do make everything about me! I mean, you've seen how long my posts are...
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