Yay! Sounds SO much better! That's great.
In light of his nascent acceptance, I feel weirdly "not special" anymore.
If you feel "flat" don't forget "hormone dump" consequences. Whether in general sex awesome, in kinky town, in tense business negotiations, in war even -- that hormonal "flight or fight" dump thing?
(And you have been in tension rollercoaster recently -- do note that!)
When the dump happens you need a few days to clear the hormone soup from the body. It can feel like withdrawal. Clearing the adrenalin and all that other stuff out. It's exciting to be on a new adventure with your wife. Excitement as "stimulating things" is both good and bad. Stimulus is stimulus. Keeping you up on your toes. When the stimulus stops and you can catch a break? You can float on down or just clunk THUD!
It isn't that you are not special -- ANYONE who thinks they can hack polyamory is "special" in the sense that they want to walk a "different" path than the usual. And anyone who can do it WELL is exemplary!
Polyamory is edge play of the heart, dude.
It's the horrible-wonderful-horrible-wonderful thing.
The am I crazy? I must be crazy. I am NOT crazy. But I am crazy! thing.
Your willingness to extend a hand of friendship to your co-metamour is a nice gesture. Whether or not he wants to take you up on that is on him, but it is good of you to offer.
Hang in there, stick to your hot ethics as your guiding light.
They are serving you well so far. Shine on!