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Old 10-03-2012, 05:13 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Its the month of birthdays around here.

Derby and Brad both have their birthdays today. I took Derby to a show on the weekend. Boy-lesque! It was so much fun and we had a great time, even though it didn't start until 10.15pm on a Sunday. We both work in the morning and were so wound up on coffee and a good time that neither of us slept that night. We were both so tired at work the next day.

Tonight I secretly planned with Derby's husband, to take her out for dinner with their kids, her friends and child and my guys and boy. We were a rowdy bunch of ten at a sushi restaurant. It was a lot of fun complete with presents, flowers and cake. Derby was the queen with her crown at the table. She was as beautiful as ever in the new corset that her husband bought her.

Brad's birthday I will celebrate with him tomorrow. I took him out to burlesque too, but tomorrow I am going over to his place for the evening. His wife and I secretly planned that too. I am so glad to not have any secrets again like that weighing me down. I loved asking questions about what they would do for their birthdays, but had a hard time with telling them I wasn't free to celebrate with them as much as I usually would or could. That part is all revealed now and I look forward to a birthday celebration tomorrow at Brad's. He is making him and I a vegetarian meal. It will be the second time we have had more than an couple of hours alone together. I am very excited... and so is he. Its all he has talked about since I told him last night. His wife and boy will be home at the boys bed time and then we will all watch a movie together.

Later this month is Mono's birthday. He has had his present already as I bought him a hand made belt to replace his old one. The buckle is now on a new belt. I couldn't hide it for very long as he wears it every day, so I had to tell him. We will go for dinner as a family and invite some of his friends along. I am wondering if I should invite his female friend...

Mono's female friend and I have been writing back and forth on FB a bit. She responded to something I posted and I took it and ran with it. I have posted a couple of things on her wall that I thought she would like (It has helped to FB stalk her! Who knew it would mean that I know what she likes?!) and she has responded to more things.

We have reached an end for now I think as she responded to something that I knew a lot of my friends would disagree with and challenge. Sure enough they have and I worry that that will be it. Our politics are vastly different and while I don't care much about that, she might. Where she loves bacon, guns, and zombies, I like vegetarian/vegan food, quotes about love and peace and music. We seemed to of been able to understand each other in relation to recycling stuff creatively and homesteading though. That's something I guess, lol.

I have been struggling with some depression this last little while. I have been missing old friends and being hard on myself for friendships ending in confusion and anger again. Re-hashing questions and over thinking about what happened in certain situations. I just can't let stuff go, as hard as I try, I will always re-hash stuff over and over again, letting time pass awkwardly, until there is no chance of getting to the bottom of things. A lot of the time the moment is lost and there is no reason to bring stuff up again as the person I am thinking about likely doesn't care or even remember me any more. I seem to be out of it for now. I'm just me after all and I have to be able to cope with my tedious tendencies to perseverate on stuff I can't change.
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