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Old 10-03-2012, 04:07 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

So you like going out and having a good time? So what. Nothing wrong with that. For some that wouldn't be poly, it might be seen as having casual sex and relationships. Poly is usually based on establishing somewhat connected, somewhat committed relationships of love with many people. But; its a personal description usually.

If you are the type that falls in love in a one night stand then some would call that poly. I have a hard time with believing that is a viable definition as romances like that are often based on substance use and abuse and sex, rather than love. Induced love maybe? Still, I am on the other end of the spectrum with a poly family and four solid partners that I am deeply committed to and have been with for years for the most part.

I suggest that if you want a relationship or many with people for longer than a night that you look for that. There is no need to stop clubbing and having a good time as you have always enjoyed. There are people out there that would be okay with that. It might take some work, but if you are willing to invest to see where something goes you might find you can have it all.

I do suggest that you let go of finding the perfect relationship as it just doesn't exist. In my experience, if its perfect, then I missed something and need to find the imperfection so that I can embrace that bit. Imperfection means there is work to do and its that work that makes relationships strong, loving, caring and deeply committed and long lasting.

Think of a family member that you have known and loved your whole life. Do they have flaws and irritating parts to who they are? Likely they do. I bet you still love them thought. The same goes for anyone you have a chosen relationship with. Flaws will always be there, its a matter of deciding how much you can agree to deal with that is the question, rather than should you bother at all. Most people are worth investing and bothering with... only the select few are not. Maybe you should try to see if something wonderful comes out of just staying around for awhile and negotiating how much time and effort you put into each other.
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