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Old 10-03-2012, 02:03 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is online now
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,195
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyinlove View Post
She doesnt communicate well. When I do communicate it becomes an issue.
I'm sorry, but this is a problem that doesn't bode well. What type of "issue"?

Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyinlove View Post
The reason I dont want to say to much is a I dont know if she reads these forums.
Ask her? When I first started posted on these forums I asked my boys not to read my posts because I wanted a "safe" place to vent and ask questions. MrS immediately agreed. Dude thought that the posts I would be uncomfortable with him reading were the ones he most needed to "hear". I posted with this knowledge in mind (although, it turns out, Dude did NOT read anything that I had not specifically invited him to). After a few months - I was comfortable with either of them reading what I posted - since I had gotten into the habit of discussing my thoughts with them before I posted anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyinlove View Post
We spend no time alone together. We never go out on dates.
How and when do you usually interact?

Most of our time is spent with the three of us - since we live together and I am a "homebody". Still I can request time with one or the other of them, and them with me, if we need to talk about something, or someone needs some "one-on-one" time to reconnect. Ideally I would like one "date" (i.e. leaving the house for a planned activity) a month with each of them...

Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyinlove View Post
I want her and not interested in anyone else right now. Am I mono? I dont think I am. Am I crazy for restricting myself to only her?
I don't think this is unusual at all for the early stages of a relationship. NRE (New Relationship Energy) is still at play. Especially if you don't have another established relationship to attend to. I recall this coming up here (on these forums) before.

Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyinlove View Post
We met at a poly group. She started calling and texting me. We started dating 7 months ago. The relationship was great in the beginning, but I am seeing the signs of disinterest. It hurts me. In the beginning she wanted long term. Now I am. Ot so sure. I dont know if I am being paranoid and insecure. I am waiting for the day she tells me to get lost. I dont know if I can handle it.
Does she have much "poly" experience in the past? Do you? Some of this may be growing pains as you strive to overcome the "mono" training most of us grow up with. But, it may be that, as the NRE wears off (at different rates for each of you) you discover that you are not "right" for each other at this time, under these circumstances. This happens in monoships as well...again, I'm sorry that you are hurting.

JaneQ
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
TT: poly male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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