Originally Posted by PickMoreDaisies
I think that it helps to have the feeling that you have some say so when you are having a hard time dealing with things and so I willingly give up the 'say so' when others are struggling. Does that make sense?
Yes. I can understand that sort of thing when dealing with specific, short-term circumstances. As a permanent dynamic, or even for a lengthy, indefinite term, I don't find it reasonable. I think it's too rife for abuse and essentially unhealthy.
And I'm certain there are folks for whom it works just fine. That whole diversity thing in action. We humans are a varied lot.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.